|  Dear Good Life readers,Welcome to Love Letter, your Thursday installment of The Good Life email that focuses on all things love. And I’m not just talking about romantic love — though I’ll cover that too. Here you’ll find insights into friendship, sibling and familial bonds, coworker relationships and, of course, dating, sex, marriage, breakups, divorce and loving yourself!The Beatles famously sang, “All you need is love,” but that doesn’t make it any less confusing. Each week, experts will be answering readers' pressing relationship questions. (If you want to submit one for a future newsletter, please e-mail us at relationships@huffpost.com). We’ll also spotlight some of our best stories from the week and throw it back with a #TBT (for a sneak peek at my wedding last year, scroll down). A little more about me: I helped launch HuffPost Divorce seven years ago; Nora Ephron, the queen of romantic comedies, had the idea for the section and was our founding editor. At the time, there was no place like it on the internet, and we took pride in creating a community where people could share their experiences and find resources on what shouldn’t be a taboo life event. We followed up a year later with HuffPost Weddings, a different type of site for couples who don’t take themselves or their weddings too seriously. Since then, we’ve started exploring all kinds of relationships and dating trends (for a rundown of the annoying things singles have to deal with nowadays, go here). During that time I also got engaged and married, and I tried to channel everything I’ve learned as a relationships editor when doing so. Hey, I’m still trying every day.While I’m indulging myself, go ahead and give me and HuffPost Relationships a follow on Instagram. That’s the first step in taking a relationship to the next level, right?Love,
Ashley Rockman
Senior Editor, HuffPost Relationships Here at HuffPost Relationships, we’re so over all that mushy gushy holiday crap. Skip the generic Hallmark cards and go for something a little sassier this year. With a bit of advance planning — aka perusing our picks — you could make your S.O. blush before he or she even opens your gift (more on that here).
Reader Allison asks, “My boyfriend and I are in a serious relationship and have been together for the past three years. We live together too, and have been for the past year. We have talked about marriage and want to get engaged within the next year or so. But we have discussed and agree that we both are unsure if we will ever want children. Neither of us are gung-ho, ‘Yes I want kids’ or ‘No way, I never want children.’ We work through our problems very diplomatically and rarely get into screaming fights, so I trust that we can work through a lot together. So my question is this: Do people ever get engaged not knowing if they’ll ever want kids down the road? I feel like everyone I know is either gung-ho yes or no about their decision before they get married. Please help!”Washington DC-based pyschotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, is here to answer this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say:“First of all, give yourselves credit for taking the decision of parenthood seriously. This approach, and your shared value of diplomatic communication, are important relationship strengths that will serve you well. Since you know how to talk things through, ask yourselves and each other some direct questions, and be honest about your answers. What it if one of you develops a strong desire to become a parent? How would you handle this? If one of you became sure, would that urge be enough to lead the two of you towards parenthood? Since neither of you feels deep opposition, it is quite possible that one of you will end up taking the lead.“No two couples are alike, and many couples decide to become parents after they marry. Often, this decision is based on the desire of one half of the couple. This is most common with second marriages when one person has children and feels satisfied, but the other decides that they, too, want (or need) a child. Keep in mind that it is very rare to regret becoming a parent, even if the urge did not feel fully present when the decision was made. It is much more common to regret a decision to opt out of parenthood. This sometimes leads to resentment and despair. To build on this conversation, check out Monica Leahy’s book 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married. Discussing a chapter each week is a wonderful way to prepare for your shared future.”   While I’m introducing myself, I might as well throw it back to last September. (Any newlywed will tell you that #TBT was basically invented for sharing wedding or honeymoon pics.) Planning a wedding while writing and editing stories about weddings day in and day out was an interesting experience; on top of my family and friends sharing their advice, I had the very best vendors and experts chiming in via our stories. But I found that the most valuable wedding planning advice came from my mom. Here’s an excerpt from a blog post I wrote after the big day was over:“There’s a piece of advice my mom gave me before my wedding ― long before I was engaged, even. I’ve passed the wisdom on to other friends who married both before and after me.It goes like this: Before each big moment ― walking down the aisle, being introduced as a married couple for the first time, toasting the marriage during speeches ― take a mental picture in your head. Use your eyes to mimic the flash of a camera shutter. Blink, we’re doing our first dance. Blink, we’re feeding each other wedding cake.” Read the whole post here.  No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it.©2017 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
You are receiving this email because you signed up for updates from HuffPost
Feedback | Privacy Policy | Unsubscribe |
