Are you terrified of scotch? Then this one's for you.

Emma Walker, a whisky specialist and blender at Diageo Plc, poses for a photograph with a glass of Johnnie Walker (Bloomberg)

By Emily Peck

Pinkwashing the whisky

Corporations are not the engines of social change in this world, but they sure like to pretend they are. Especially when it comes to appealing to women. On Monday, Johnnie Walker, which is owned by Diageo, announced it was celebrating women by releasing a new logo with a woman on it. Instead of a guy named Johnnie Walker, some bottles will feature a woman icon named Jane Walker.

They also said some stuff about women being afraid of scotch. Really. “Scotch as a category is seen as particularly intimidating by women,” vice president Stephanie Jacoby told Bloomberg. “It’s a really exciting opportunity to invite women into the brand.”

(Who are these women, previously fearful of scotch, but now desperate to try it because of a new label? The premise is almost as insulting as "Doritos, For Her.")

The company also plans on donating a portion of the money earned selling the lady whisky to women's organizations. More significantly, Diageo is also trying to hire and promote more women -- and its board will be fifty percent female by April, Jacoby said. That would actually be a remarkable achievement in corporate America, where most boards hover at around 20 percent women.

Diageo is also following in a long tradition of corporate pinkwashing, where companies take minor steps to show off their feminist bonafides. Like Audi running a Superbowl ad about the gender pay gap -- while at the same time the company's executives are exclusively male. And don't get me started on the "Fearless Girl" statue.

At the end of the day, companies just want to sell you stuff -- that's it. These kinds of gestures are a response to public sentiment. Brands try to figure out what people are into (women! feminism! girl power!) and then pivot in your direction.

Thing is: you can't buy social change at the store or find it at the bottom of your (apparently terrifying) whisky glass.