No Images? Click here I’ve thought a lot about invisible work (i.e. all the things wives and mothers tend to do around the house without being asked or thanked) lately because of this really well-done piece by Brittany Wong on HuffPost Relationships.I thought about it on Saturday when we took a rainy day family trip (sigh) to Home Depot. I was upset for two reasons: 1) Going to Home Depot drives me nutty, and 2) because the reason we went is for something I’ve been telling my husband to handle for a good two weeks. The flapper on our master bathroom toilet is broken, which causes water to constantly run, not to mention an annoying sound. The toilets in the house -- just like salting after a snowfall and organizing the beer in our basement fridge -- are my husband’s domain. Despite my near-constant prodding= to call the plumber, he never called did. So here we were, all together at Home Depot, the happiest place on Earth.Here’s where the invisible work comes in: While my husband spent roughly two weeks saying he’d call someone yet didn’t, I spent those same two weeks thinking about the damn toilet and not-so-secretly being annoyed by his inaction. But I’ll be damned if I added another thing to my plate and called the plumber myself.So what does this have to do with my kids? Nothing and everything. While I harbored the slightest resentment at my husband, I noticed myself snipping at him over little things, all of which tend to happen when I get home from work and the kids are there to witness it. All those little moments of annoyance or snipping or (let’s be honest) eye-rolling are seen by people -- little people who internalize their parents behavior and catalog it for later in life (and, more often than not, later that night!). If I really want to raise my kids to be the kind of people who don’t expect these gender differences (what a world that’d be!) and to show respect always, I need to check myself. It’s a constant struggle -- and no one that I know of has it figured out. But it’s important that I try.How do you divide the chores at home and maintain your sanity? What tips or tricks are worth trying out? Let me know and I’ll share with everyone!When you have to laugh at yourself... Books to love now
For when your kid is keeping you awake If you’ve ever wondered what nutritionists -- the people who have food all figured out -- served their kids for breakfast, now you know. And what Caroline Bologna found might surprise you.More stories from the trenches: A guide to helping you raise the kind of person you'd like to know.Love what you see? Send it to a friend. Did someone forward this email? If so, subscribe here. Can't get enough? Check out (In)formation and The Good Life. |
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