|  Emotional labor, invisible work, the second shift — there are many terms to describe the additional tasks women take on to keep a household running smoothly and the mental energy that requires. Mom and writer Cameron Reeves Poynter called this job “the keeper” in a viral Facebook post back in September, writing:“I am the keeper of schedules. Of practices, games, and lessons. Of projects, parties, and dinners. Of appointments and homework assignments… I am the keeper of emotional security. The repository of comfort, the navigator of bad moods, the holder of secrets and the soother of fears.”She continues, “All these things I keep are invisible, intangible. They go unnoticed and unacknowledged until they are missed. They are not graded or peer reviewed or ruled on by a court. And sometimes they are taken for granted.”Therapists have been hearing about this from their clients for years. In a story published this week, reporter Brittany Wong talked to psychologists and parents about the stress wives and moms are under and how their partners can chip in and help — and also, show their understanding and appreciation, which are equally important. Read that here.With gratitude,
Ashley Sexless marriages are far more common than you think. If you and your spouse have found yourselves in a serious dry spell, you may be well on your way to one. We asked sex experts for their best advice for couples in a sexual rut, and here is what they had to say. A reader writes, “I have a best friend whom I've known since we were 10 years old. I'd like to think we're inseparable and strongly bonded. However recently, I realized that my friend isn't exactly good at comforting. In fact, I feel she can’t empathize with me so well. If I tell her a problem, she would say things like 'everybody feels that' or 'some have it worse' or just changes the topic to herself. I know she doesn't mean any harm, but should I talk to her about it?”Friendship expert Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine, is here to answer this week’s question. Here is what she had to say:"I'm sorry that you feel disappointed by your BFF. All relationships, even those with best friends, are imperfect."Being a ‘comforter’ may not be your friend’s greatest strength but she likely has other assets she brings to your friendship. Some people have a knack for saying just the right things and others may not be good at empathizing or may be preoccupied with problems of their own."Of course, try to talk to your friend and tell her how you feel. Use ‘I’ words rather than blaming her so she doesn’t get defensive. Give her some examples of how she could be more supportive to you when you need comforting. She may not even realize that you feel the way you do and that she’s falling short of your expectations."Also, while your friend might be great to spend time with when things are okay, you may need to depend on other people for support when you have problems or feel down. (If you constantly need support, it may be that you are asking too much of a friend.) What you don’t want to do is give up on a long-term friendship with a shared history that is irreplaceable, one that presumably still brings joy to both of you."  Some people dream about an extravagant, flash-mob-level public proposal. But for others — introverts, especially — that sounds downright horrible. We compiled 20 photos of at-home proposals that are low-key and perfectly intimate. Check them out here. No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it.©2018 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
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