| No Images? Click here   It’s not uncommon for engaged couples to get so caught up in wedding planning, they lose sight of the relationship itself. And in some cases, the excitement and stress of venue hunting and cake tasting can distract from some pretty serious issues that might need addressing before the big day.Last week, reporter Kelsey Borresen talked to marriage therapists about behaviors that are serious enough to warrant postponing the wedding. If you recognize any of these issues in your own relationship, note that they are not be-all, end-all deal breakers; they are simply things that should be worked on either alone or together, hopefully with some professional help, before walking down the aisle.Check out the full list here.Xo, Ashley Rockman In case you missed it
 Ask an expertA reader writes, “My husband and I have enjoyed alcohol throughout our relationship, and now due to a health issue, I can't drink as much (if at all). This seems to be putting a cramp in our activities, many of which have revolved around social drinking, visiting wineries, breweries (we live in Oregon; it’s a theme). He doesn't seem interested in drinking less, and I feel like this is creating a gulf in our relationship as we grow apart. Do you have creative/inspiring ideas for helping us navigate this change? Or at least helping me, the non-drinker? I still go to our favorite haunts, but it's not the same. I may just get over it eventually, but often just take a small 'no thank you helping' to help lighten the mood. No one likes to drink alone.”Washington DC-based pyschotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, is here to answer this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say:“Limiting alcohol and attending to your health may feel like a challenging adjustment, but you will soon discover that less alcohol use leads to improved mood, increased energy and enhanced mental clarity.Describing your concerns as a gulf in the marriage is an articulate description from a psychological perspective. For couples whose social experiences revolve around drinking, it is quite common that if one person stops drinking, the other person’s alcohol use actually increases. Without realizing it, your marriage may have developed a dependence on alcohol as a buffer between you. As wonderful as intimacy can be, it requires a deliberate effort that can make people feel uncomfortable, and alcohol is a frequent strategy for softening conscious and unconscious discomfort. Now that your part in the buffering has ceased, he may be unintentionally making up the difference.Research indicates that alcohol is an addictive substance and that overall use tends to increase among frequent drinkers throughout the course of adulthood. So if wineries and breweries are your go-to social activities, it is wise to be concerned that the gulf you describe could grow over time. Have you discussed these concerns with your husband? It is most productive to be honest, but kind. Try saying something like this:‘We’ve had a lot of fun socializing with friends at wineries and breweries, but now that my health is at risk if I drink, I’m not as interested in those activities. I’m not saying we should cut it out all together, but let’s find some new activities to pursue together. Maybe we could try hiking or kayaking or mountain biking. I’m hoping that the adversity of my recent diagnosis can be a catalyst that brings us closer and helps us both lead healthier lives. Would this be something we could explore together?’Read Annie Grace’s best-selling book, This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life. Grace shares excellent strategies for sober socializing with drinkers, and she makes a convincing case for cutting alcohol out altogether. Maybe your husband could be convinced to read it as well.”
#TBT  Being an Instagram influencer is a lot of work. And, it turns out, being married to an Instagram influencer is a lot of work, too. For many Instagram spouses, working on their partner’s social media accounts and blogs is actually a full-time job. Here’s a glimpse at what that’s like, from cameras full of outtakes to wardrobe and event envy. Links we love: 
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