|  Dear Good Life readers,It’s that time of year again: Your evenings are likely stacked with holiday engagements, and between attending parties, preparing to go to other parties (yes, that’s another gift you’ll have to buy), and hosting parties yourself, it seems like there’s no end in sight. But rest assured, there is. And that end happens when you take matters into your own hands and just. say. no. when yet another invitation pops into your inbox.But what about maintaining your friendship with the college roommate who invited you to her weeknight white elephant? And not offending your great-aunt on Christmas Eve? And bonding with coworkers outside the office? The truth is, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you’re completely drained and all the energy has been sucked out of you, you won’t enjoy yourself at the holiday events you actually want to attend.If you find yourself in that position and have no idea what to say, have a look at this. We asked experts how to say “no” to plans and invitations without feeling like a jerk, and they offered up some canned responses to use the next time someone throws an invite your way. So pop on those PJs, turn on “Love Actually” or your holiday movie of choice, and start taking care of yourself.Love,
Ashley Rockman Those stomach-churning, can’t sleep, crippling feelings of anxiety you experience after a breakup aren’t imagined: heartbreak takes a real, physical toll on your body. And in some severe cases, a split could even lead to heart-attack like symptoms, known as broken heart syndrome. Reporter Brittany Wong talked to medical professionals about the condition — what it feels like, how it’s diagnosed and what people experiencing symptoms can do to cope. Head here to learn more.
A reader writes, “I am a sophomore in college. I had no intentions of getting into a relationship but ended up meeting a boy the first week of freshman year, started talking to him, and we ended up dating for a few months. He and I broke up about seven months ago but we see each other on campus quite often and agreed to try and build a friendship. I have since realized that he wants me to chase him, but I refuse to do this. I notice he likes to manipulate situations because he knows now what makes me upset, jealous, or frustrated. He will text me randomly sometimes, call me "love," say he wants to see me, but then other times he will act cold, not text me for weeks, and act like he doesn't care whether he and I keep in contact at all. I feel like he wants to explore but keep contact with me because he has stated in the past that I am the most beautiful girl he believes he will ever be with and has ever met. But I am getting annoyed by his actions and turned off by the way he treats me sometimes. I just don't know if I should approach this situation in another way, just leave him alone as I have, or what I should do. I don't think he even knows what he wants. Please help me!”Washington DC-based pyschotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, is here to answer this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say:“It can feel incredibly confusing and painful to receive such mixed messages, especially from a so-called ‘friend.’ When interpersonal signals are dramatically inconsistent, this typically represents underlying conflicts about the relationship. Couples therapists often describe situations like yours as the ‘approach avoidance dance’ – he ignores you in public and goes silent for days, but once you turn the tables and back away, he sends flirtatious messages and compliments your beauty.Another term for such inconsistent behavior is ‘fear of commitment,’ which could explain why he has already decided that you are ‘the one who got away.’ There’s a good chance that he was not looking to fall into a relationship so early in his in college life, and it sounds like you can relate to that sentiment. But that does not excuse his substandard behavior.Instead of wondering what he wants or what he’s thinking, it’s time to focus on yourself and making your college experience as full and interesting as possible. Strengthen your friendships, take challenging courses, and get involved in student life in a meaningful way that involves your interests. The more authentic and fulfilling your campus life becomes, the less his immaturity will matter. He may eventually surprise you and come back around, but I wouldn’t invest emotionally in a friendship or a romance with him unless he can articulate precisely how and why he has changed.”If you have a relationship question that you would like answered in a future newsletter, please e-mail it to us at relationships@huffpost.com.  The emotional photo above, taken by photographer James Day at Adrian and Roslyn’s wedding in Bowral, Australia, went viral earlier this year and it’s easy to see why. In setting up the shot, the photographer said to the groom, "I have a question for you, but I want you to tell the answer to Roslyn and not me… Out of the billions of people on the planet, you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with Roslyn. Can you tell her why?" We’ll never know what Adrian said to his bride, but the emotion that his response elicited in Roslyn even moved the photographer to tears. This is one of the 32 wedding pics we’ve dubbed the best of the year, and if you think it’s stunning, you’ll love the rest of them. Head here for the full list. No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it.©2017 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
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