|  Dear Good Life readers,I know this doesn’t sound romantic, but some of the very best relationship advice I’ve gotten over the years has come from divorce lawyers. I frequently turn to them for expert tips for our stories; after all, they see the good, the bad and the very, very ugly when it comes to marriage. They know firsthand what causes couples to split up, from big-ticket items like infidelity to the small, everyday issues that erode relationships like finances.They also approach marriage differently than most. Last week, reporter Kelsey Borresen talked to several divorce lawyers to find out how their careers have made them better partners. This quote from attorney Karen Covey sums it up nicely: “You can’t have a great marriage if you don’t like who you are. The nonsense you hear in movies about how your soulmate ‘will complete you’ is total B.S. You are complete. If you don’t believe that, then work on your own issues before you get married. When you’ve got your own act together, you have a much better chance of attracting and marrying someone who’s got his own act together too.” Read more from the lawyers here.Stay tuned for future installments of this series, where we’ll ask other experts — marriage therapists and sex therapists, among them — how they approach their relationships. And we’re constantly sharing expert advice on our Facebook page, so make sure to give us a follow there too.Love,
Ashley Rockman
Senior Editor, HuffPost Relationships A reader writes, “Do breaks really work? If you're considering taking one, what are a few guidelines you should stick to?”Dr. Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling men and the director of Guy Stuff Counseling and Coaching, is here to answer this week’s question. Here’s what he had to say:“Yes, they can work. It's important before taking a break to agree on some ground rules regarding important areas to each of you, such as dating others; the level of communication and contact; expectations for sharing responsibilities for kids, household, etc. Most people have pretty intertwined lives and so separating isn't usually the clean break they would like. Oftentimes one partner gets stuck with much more of the responsibilities than the other, so discussing how things will be shared is crucial. Also agree on a timeframe, such as 90 days, when you'll revisit the topic of your relationship and re-evaluate where each of you are at.I've seen breaks work, but usually only when done with consideration, planning and intentionality of the purpose and goals. A couple I'm counseling right now is planning to take a break after the holidays and we spent our meeting this week developing ground rules for the separation and for handling parenting responsibilities. Their willingness to put the effort into planning before acting has already produced positive changes by each of them in how they're respecting and considering each other.”If you have a relationship question that you would like answered in a future newsletter, please e-mail it to us at relationships@huffpost.com.  The photo above is of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, walking arm in arm in November 1947, the month they wed. In light of all the hoopla surrounding Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (they’ve set a wedding date!), we’re throwing it back to the queen’s own romance. Check out her charming love story and tons of pictures to go along with it here. No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it.©2017 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
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