|  Dear Good Life readers,I have this weird thing where I can’t go to sleep in an unmade bed. I know that doesn’t entirely make sense, as the bed becomes unmade the second you get into it. But there is something about the ritual of opening the covers and getting in that I particularly enjoy. (Don’t even get me started about the joys of getting into a bed with freshly washed sheets — heaven).I usually make the bed before leaving the house in the morning, but there are those days where I’m rushing out and I just don’t get to it. Yet, when I get home in the evening, there is a nicely made bed waiting for me, courtesy of my husband. It’s one of those little things he does without being asked that makes me feel loved and understood.Every couple has those things. Be it small gestures like making the bed or getting the car washed or more routine habits like checking in with each other throughout the day or always saying “thank you.” This week, reporter Kelsey Borresen asked relationship experts to share the top things happy couples do for each other without be asked. Check those out here, and try adding one or two to your daily routine. It really does make all the difference.Love,
Ashley Rockman
Senior Editor, HuffPost Relationships A reader writes, “How do you get along with toxic families members that you cannot completely cut out of your life because they are your elders and need your support and care?”Washington DC-based psychotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, is here to answer this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say:“First, take a moment to give yourself credit for valuing the importance of care and support of your older family members. Also, give yourself credit for intuitively understanding that completely cutting someone out of your life is seldom an optimal plan. Cutting off has two significant downsides. First, it will not resolve the pain. Hurt feelings and disappointment will probably weigh on you and may surface in unpleasant, unexpected ways. Second, by cutting off a relative, you set a family pattern in motion that will probably be repeated in future generations. For example, if you have children, cutting ties with parents teaches that cutting off is a viable solution.It sounds like setting clear boundaries will be key to establishing a manageable solution. Watch Brene Brown’s brief comments about the importance of setting boundaries when dealing with substandard behavior. Brown simplifies the concept by defining boundaries as a clarification of what is okay and what is not okay. Let’s say you are cleaning house and overseeing medications for a relative who is criticizing your efforts or making fun of your appearance. It is reasonable to say something like, ‘I care about you and I want to help. But it is unpleasant and hurtful to feel criticized each time we are together. If you don’t have anything kind to say, let’s just share a quiet visit.’ You may have to repeat this phrase on multiple occasions, but each repetition represents a clarifying boundary and communicates the message that you expect to feel respected.”If you have a relationship question that you would like answered in a future newsletter, please e-mail it to us at relationships@huffpost.com.  Remember when J.Lo was married to Marc Anthony? The pair separated in 2011, seven years after tying the knot. Chalk it up to the seven-year itch? Maybe. According to a U.S. Census report from 2011, the median length of marriages that end in divorce hovers around seven years. But relationship experts are divided on whether or not this phenomenon is real. We asked therapists, psychologists and authors for their take and pointers on how to beat the itch, if couples feel it coming on. Here’s what they had to say. No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it.©2018 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
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