| No Images? Click here   There’s a troubling trend in how people — men, in particular — deal with romantic rejection. Look no further than 25-year-old Alek Minassian, who drove his van into a Toronto crowd in April, killing 10 people and injuring 14. Minassain is part of an online community of self-described “involuntary celibates” — also known as “incels” — who commiserate over their inability to have sex with women. He posted on Facebook earlier that day to praise Elliot Rodger, the 22-year-old responsible for a 2014 shooting at the University of California, Santa Barbara, in part because he felt that women weren’t attracted to him.As Brittany Wong reports, “The incel community and the violence that has stemmed from it are extreme cases, but the fact remains: A lot of men are really ill-equipped to handle romantic rejection and the feeling of being undesired.”Of course, women deal with rejection, too — and some handle it better than others — but they’ve been taught to deal with it differently. Read on for more about the differences and a very important discussion about sexual rejection.Xo, Ashley Rockman In case you missed it
 Ask an expertA reader writes, “I'm new to dating apps. Is it fair to be wary of swiping on the basis of a guy's listed occupation? (There are actors galore in Los Angeles and don't get me started on guys who are ‘owners at self employed.’)”Dating coach Samantha Burns, the author of Breaking Up & Bouncing Back, is here to answer this week’s question. Here is what she had to say:“You should always be cautious of swiping on someone’s profile based on one data point alone. Someone’s occupation, whether it’s an actor, doctor, lawyer, or professional athlete, doesn’t necessarily reflect their core values, what you share in common, or whether there will be any in-person chemistry. You may naturally be more drawn to types of people who have certain professions, but make sure you’re looking for other clues that you’d be a good match. “Self-employed” can mean many things, whether it’s a small dog walking business, or the founder and CEO of a major company. Some people like to exaggerate or catfish, while others are modest and protect their privacy, so you should dig deeper. Swipe right if you like 80 percent of the profile.If you’re new to dating apps, taking the time to fill out a full, authentic profile should be your first step in online dating so that you can paint a picture of who you are, what’s most important to you, and what you’re looking for in a partner. A firm rule that I give my clients is to never swipe on a blank profile, no matter how good looking they appear in the photos. A blank profile, or one that only has the minimal required info, makes the statement that you’re lazy in love and not taking the dating process seriously. If you want to attract a high quality partner, you must first show that you’re a quality person by investing in your own profile.”
#TBT  “Pansexual” was Merriam-Webster’s top-searched term the day Janelle Monae came out in a Rolling Stone interview, but there are many misconceptions about the sexual orientation. This week, we asked pansexual people to set the record straight. Links we love: 
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