What divorced men wish they had done differently in their marriages

Hindsight is 20/20 No Images? Click here       As the expression goes, hindsight is 20/20. And sure enough, in every failed relationship — romantic or otherwise — there is always something you wish you could have done differently. The hope is that you’ll carry that perspective and wisdom into future relationships. With that in mind, we asked divorced men to reveal what they would have changed in their marriages. Here’s one choice snippet: “Divorce was a painful wake-up call for me. It was only then that I got to be honest with how I really showed up (or didn’t show up) for my wife. When I look back, there are thousands of mistakes I made over 16 years. Most of them were small. A few were big, but the mistake that cost me the most was my inability to really listen. I didn’t get that my wife’s greatest need was to feel heard, validated and understood.” ― Gerald Rogers Go here for the rest. Xo, Ashley Rockman   In case you missed it Last week in The New York Times, memorist Joyce Maynard revisited her affair with Catcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger when he was 52 and she was 18. She initially published a book about the affair in 1998 and was vilified by the literary world for spilling secrets about the famously reclusive writer. Twenty years later — and in this post-#MeToo world — she wonders if people would have reacted to her story differently had she published it today. Reporter Brittany Wong talked to other women who had affairs with much-older men when they were young, asking them to reflect on the power imbalance. Here’s what they had to say. Ask an expert   A reader writes, “What's a reasonable number of weddings to expect your significant other to attend with you? If you're being invited to a bunch, is it unfair to expect they'll attend all of them with you?” Washington DC-based psychotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, answers this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say: “This is a great question and the answer depends on many different variables. How serious is your commitment to your significant other? If the two of you have been dating for a few months, it seems that less participation on the wedding circuit should be expected than if the two of you have been dating exclusively for a couple of years. It is also important to consider your partner’s financial resources as well as the locations and costs associated with the various weddings.  Equally relevant are the relationships that you have with the bride and groom. If you are attending a 500-person affair of a long-lost friend, the experience is likely to be less meaningful than if you are the maid of honor in your best friend’s wedding. The most important factor is the seriousness of this relationship. With each invitation, ask yourself, do you want your significant other to join you because the two you continue to grow closer and more committed and so you want to share this experience together? Or are you simply more comfortable attending the wedding with a date? Weddings are psychologically charged experiences that organically raise the topic of a lifetime commitment. Attending a series of weddings together is likely to raise conscious and unconscious questions, thoughts and feelings about marriage for both you and your S.O. If, down deep, you do not envision a long-term future together, I encourage you to err on the side of independence, spare the bride and groom the cost of an extra guest and demonstrate to your S.O. and yourself that you can enjoy at least some of the weddings on your calendar solo. Even if you do envision a future with your S.O., it is probably wise to weigh the various factors involved with each invitation and opt to attend some of the weddings on your own. It never hurts a romantic relationship to demonstrate that you have the ability to enjoy your independence.”   #TBT It’s a familiar scenario: You live with your S.O., but it’s your dog that rules the household. Then you have a kid, and the competition for your attention — and for queen bee status — heats up. Israeli Illustrator Erez Zadok captures that dynamic perfectly in this comic series. Links we love: How To Convince Your Family To Evacuate During Hurricane Florence 7 Qualities Your Partner Should Have By The Time They’re 30 27 Tweets You’ll Find Really Funny Once You’ve Been Married A Long Time    .     HuffPost is now a part of Oath and a part of Verizon. On May 25, 2018 we introduced a new Oath Privacy Policy which will explain how your data is used and shared. Learn More. No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it. Can't get enough? You'll also love HuffPost's Entertainment newsletter. ©2018 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003 You are receiving this email because you signed up for updates from HuffPost Feedback | Privacy Policy | Unsubscribe      . - - Preferences  |  Unsubscribe