No Images? Click here You know the drill: you’ve been messaging with someone on a dating app and finally set a time to meet. Only when you meet them, they look nothing like their photos — and their lifestyle is nothing like they initially described, either. You’ve been kittenfished.Like catfishers, kittenfishers are experts at presenting themselves as someone they’re not. It’s a very common practice; more than half of online daters said that people they’ve gone on dates with have “seriously misrepresented” themselves in their profiles, according to a 2013 study by Pew Research Center. Men and women are prone to lie about different things; we break it down here.If you’ve had that experience, you’ll undoubtedly relate to these tweets that sum up the hell that is modern dating. And on a more hopeful note, one woman set out to create a dating app that could do away with kittenfishing altogether, along with all that other superficial swiping. Here’s to hoping it changes the dating landscape for the better.Xo, Ashley RockmanIn case you missed it
Ask an expertA reader writes, “My significant other recently followed a bunch of people on Instagram, one I noticed was a guy I had a fling with last year (he has no idea that we hooked up. I told him I dated someone last year but never said who it was because I didn't think they knew each other or that it mattered). The fling was pretty significant to me at the time but I've moved on and am happy in my relationship. However, it still kind of bugs me that he follows this guy on social media. Should I bring it up or let it go? How?”Washington DC-based psychotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, answers this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say:"If something is bugging you enough to write about it, it will probably free up emotional energy to discuss it.First, it’s worth figuring out why it bugs you. Does it bug you because of unfinished business related to lingering emotional significance of this fling? If so, this would probably be difficult for your current partner to absorb and it could feel like a form of rejection. If that’s the case, clue your partner into the backstory of his recent follow, but process these deeper feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Does it bug you because you feel protective of your current partner? Does it bug you to imagine your current partner interacting on social media with someone from your past who presumably is aware of your current relationship while your partner remains clueless about this past connection to you? If so, these sentiments will probably be welcomed and appreciated. Try saying something like this:'I noticed you recently followed a bunch of people, including so-and-so. It is totally up to you whom you follow and whom you allow to follow you, but I thought I should let you know that he’s the person I dated a while back. That experience feels very much in the past to me. I feel so happy in our relationship, and I never thought it was relevant to name names. But when I noticed your communication on social media, I felt uncomfortable with the idea that he knows we are together while you didn’t have the full context. And so it seems respectful to you and to our relationship that I make sure you have the backstory.'It is difficult to hear about our partner’s past, so it is important that your significant other understands that you feel satisfied and fulfilled in this relationship. It would be unfortunate to allow a fling from the past to have the power to sabotage your present happiness."#TBT As much as you love Ross and Rachel, and perhaps were rooting for them to get back together by time “Friends” ended, marriage therapists say their relationship would not have lasted in real life. The experts have equally bad outlooks on Carrie and Big from “Sex and the City” and a handful of other beloved TV couples. Check out who experts think wouldn’t have gone the distance.Links we love: HuffPost is now a part of Oath and a part of Verizon. On May 25, 2018 we introduced a new Oath Privacy Policy which will explain how your data is used and shared. Learn More.No moon dust. No B.S. Just a completely essential daily guide to achieving the good life. Subscribe here. Like what you see? Share it.Can't get enough? You'll also love HuffPost's Entertainment newsletter.©2018 HuffPost | 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003 |
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