| No Images? Click here  This week, we launched HuffPost LIFE, a totally redesigned guide with expert advice and real talk on money, wellness, food, parenting, relationships and more. And speaking of relationships, we’re launching two new series that highlight the real problems people face, whether single or coupled up.It’s Not You, It’s Me looks at dating in America from the perspective of different ethnicities, sexual identities, life experiences and circumstances. Our first installment examines what it’s like to date as a 30-something virgin. Reporter Brittany Wong talked to three people who have remained virgins well into their 30s — one by choice, the other two by happenstance. They opened up about about how and why they’ve remained abstinent this long and what it’s like to date when you’ve never had sex. Go here for all the juicy insights.And next week we’re kicking off Tough Love, where you’ll meet real couples who have gotten through some of the hardest relationship challenges, including losing a child, addiction and more. Our first installment features a couple in which one partner transitioned during the marriage. Look out for it on Monday.If you have a story you want to share for either of our series, please e-mail it to us at relationships@huffpost.com. We’d love to hear from you!XO, Ashley Rockman In case you missed it
 Ask an expertA reader writes, “My husband and I have been together many years. During the last three years, I lost my mother to alcoholism, my father to Alzheimer’s and my husband went through major cardiac surgery. I suffered tremendous grief during and after this time period for quite some time I had a lot of difficulties with my emotions. My husband and I had some terrible fights, a good portion of them instigated by me. I am not proud of my behavior but it was a crazy time for me. Unbeknownst to me, my husband kept documentation of my behavior as well as shared my issues with both his family and one of his friends, none of whom are qualified to provide advice on those same issues. Now these people will not speak to me and do not include me in family activities. I am very hurt and unsure how to navigate the situation. If feel this is a betrayal of my most personal issues and grief. When I tell my husband how deeply hurt I am, he says he is not able to control their behavior and there is nothing he can do about it.”Washington DC-based psychotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, answers this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say:“I am sorry to hear of your multiple losses and adversity over the past few years. That’s a lot to absorb all at once. Sometimes the most painful chapter of a marriage occurs because both partners simultaneously face overlapping trauma and personal loss. If the timing compromises each person’s ability to be their best self and support their spouse during a time of need, feelings of conscious and unconscious resentment can linger and become a barrier to intimacy. We can’t script the timing of the adversity life throws our way, and the timing of your husband’s surgery and your grief was unfortunate.It is a strength that you realize that many of the terrible fights were instigated by you. In conflict, it helps to articulate ownership of your piece in what went wrong. Apologizing does not excuse your husband’s part in the problem, but it should reduce defensiveness and elevate the dialogue. Try editing some of your excellent observations written above and say something like this:‘I am struggling with the fallout from everything we have been through over the past few years, and I would like to begin a dialogue to improve our marriage and my relationship with your family and friends. I have tremendous regret about our arguments during such a difficult time. I realize that many of them were instigated by me. I said and did and many things I regret, and I really wish I could take back my hurtful words and actions. I also wish that my grief had not interfered with my ability to be fully present and supportive during your surgery and recovery. Losing both of my parents to such terrible illnesses took an awful toll. This toll is amplified every time we are with your family members and friends who refuse to speak with me. It is amplified every time I learn I have been excluded. This is hurtful and embarrassing. Could we please speak with them together and try to work this through? I think that would be healing for both of us.’Refusing to speak with family members and expelling someone from family events and activities is referred to as a ‘cut-off’ in systems psychology. The most problematic aspect of a ‘cut-off’ is that there is no chance for resolution or healing. If your husband is not comfortable addressing this problematic divide, I suggest that the two of you seek couples therapy with a skilled, experienced clinician. To compliment the therapy, read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. It is a practical, research-based guide offering concrete steps and solutions to improve communication and enhance intimacy.”
#TBT  After bride Liz Mylin had already purchased her wedding gown, she decided to try on her mom’s 1979 dress for fun – and to her surprise, it fit perfectly. From that day on, her mom couldn’t stop talking about how she looked in the wedding dress. So as a surprise for her mom, dad and guests, Liz changed into her mom’s dress for her father-daughter dance. “As Liz waltzed in, my camera was pointed at her mom, who immediately gasped,” photographer Ashley Gillman told us. “Her eyes started filling with tears.” See more of the emotional photos here. Links we love: 
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