| No Images? Click here   It’s never one fight that ends a marriage — hey, all couples argue. But there is often one disagreement that divorcees consider to be the last straw in their relationships.“Our last fight occurred during marital counseling,” writer Nicole Lavery told HuffPost this week. “Four years later, the topic is both hazy and generally meaningless; what has stuck with me to this day is how the impasse felt so overwhelming in the moment. It was almost as if I had an out-of-body experience, witnessing us both remaining so stubborn: He was frustrated by my impassioned display in front of a third party. I was disgusted by his refusal to try to see my point of view.”That’s just one of a number of arguments divorcée shared with us; go here for the rest. And while we’re on the topic of therapy, it’s not just romantic issues that people confide in a therapist about. These are the most common friendship complaints people bring up during sessions.Xo, Ashley Rockman In case you missed it
 Ask an expertA reader writes, “I’m in my third marriage to a man who had previously been married for 42 years. His ex wife checked out emotionally/physically years ago. Once he made the decision to leave, he met me.I have had much more experience with the ins and outs of relationships. He has no idea how to react to things I say/do that were not part of his previous marriage. He was the ‘man’ of the household and got input on everything. I, on the other hand, am a very strong woman who speaks her mind. I want a partner, not a father. In his mind, I am always the problem and pout when I don’t get my way.I don’t know how to help him transition into a partnership that is equal, not one that places him in the position of authority. At this time, I’m not sure we can survive. I don’t know where to go with this. I do love him with all my heart, but the periods of silence are growing longer.”Mabel Yiu, a marriage and family therapist who founded the Women’s Therapy Institute in Palo Alto, California, answers this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say:“I empathize with you. It’s no fun to be in a relationship that is out of sync. I hope both of you knew each other well, such as you being strong and him being ‘the man’ before the marriage. If not, you two have a lot of discovery to do.Objectively speaking, both of you are acting the same way to each other — trying to get each other to submit. I see many couples have this power struggle and it usually drags the relationship down to the mud. If mud is not what you two want, both of you need to turn ‘me’ into ‘we’. To have a meaningful relationship, both of you need to recognize you two are acting the same way and start looking for a new way to behave. Ask yourself and your husband these deeper questions: How do each of you contribute to this situation? How does this power struggle negatively impact the relationship? What would the relationship look/feel like without this power struggle? Can there be a compromise where each of you can be the ‘authority’ of something? Can you two accept each other and create a ‘we?’He might not know what ‘partnership’ is and you would need to model it. In the spirit of partnership, I encourage you to be the first to let go of this power struggle tug-of-war, break the silence, acknowledge your own role in this situation and open up in a heart-to-heart conversation. Perhaps that might be the turning point of this marriage. I’m rooting for you two. Good luck.”Are you dealing with a relationship issue? Send it to relationships@huffpost.com and we’ll get it answered in an upcoming newsletter.
#TBT  This is the bachelorette party theme we need in 2018. Last month, bride-to-be Alex Pinkerton and her six bridesmaids skipped the usual “bride tribe” T-shirts and dressed as warrior women instead. “Part of what prompted this idea was how, whenever things have gotten tough, our friends have always had each others’ backs,” Pinkerton told HuffPost. “We’ve talked more and more about family issues, job issues, POC rights, mental health and women’s rights lately. It takes a village to stay strong through this. You need to have your women ready to fight by your side to stay sane.” See more pics of their epic costumes here. Links we love: 
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