| No Images? Click here   If you didn’t get the memo (or celebrate in your own way), National Orgasm Day was on Tuesday. To commemorate the occasion, we asked women to share how they reliably get off, either on their own or with a partner.Here’s a choice snippet: “In the past, if a man I found attractive was simply orally talented, mission accomplished! However, today, I require a much more committed and meaningful dynamic to help me get there,” professional dominatrix and writer Hudsy Hawn told us. Go here to see what dynamic she’s referring to.And while we’re on the subject of sex, there are two words that are often used interchangeably but they’re actually pretty different: fetish and kink. This is the difference.Xo, Ashley Rockman In case you missed it
 Ask an expertA reader writes, “I have been married for about two years now but long distance because my husband is in the military and currently overseas. He's not the most in tune with his emotions and being in the service definitely does not help. Recently he has asked me if I was cheating; I was asked that last year as well. I was aware that he had trust issues prior to us getting married but it's frustrating constantly being accused of something I'm not evenly close to doing. Especially since when we were dating, he was the one who cheated. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't suspect he's cheating and using this as a deflect tactic. It's a struggle to not internalize it. I'm stuck feeling as if no matter what, my love is not good enough, questioning if he's truly happy when everything appears to be fine or wondering if this is a cry for attention that I'm not giving enough of.”Mabel Yiu, a licensed marriage and family therapist who founded the Women’s Therapy Institute in Palo Alto, California, answers this week’s question. Here’s what she had to say:“I can only imagine how frustrating it is being accused of something you didn’t do. Sometimes the unfaithful partners have difficulty trusting others because they have acted dishonestly and therefore they believe everyone is capable of the same. This is called psychological projection. It’s less about you but more about his insecurity and character flaws. I am guessing the conversation goes nowhere when you try to defend yourself from his accusations. He can’t be satisfied so don’t try to convince him. A productive thing to do is to get out of the tug-of-war argument. Assuming you want to stay with him, next time when he accuses you, you can say, ‘I want to make it clear that I love you and I am not cheating on you. This pattern of you falsely accusing me of cheating is deteriorating our relationship. What do you propose we do to establish a healthy relationship?’ Then you let him come up with some solutions on his own.A relationship takes trust, commitment and communication. It seems like you two have the commitment, but the trust and communication need some work. I couldn’t help but wonder if you two have worked through the earlier infidelity via couples counseling, and whether a mutual trust has been established. If not, it might be worthwhile to get some help when your husband returns.”Are you grappling with a relationship problem? E-mail it to us at relationships@huffpost.com and we may tackle it in an upcoming newsletter.
#TBT  About a year ago, the website FiveThirtyEight compiled a playlist of the most-frequently banned wedding songs, based on submissions from DJs. We put the question to our readers this week to see which songs they never want to hear at a wedding. Some submissions were not at all surprising (“The Chicken Dance?” No thanks), but others, like “September” by Earth, Wind & Fire, generated some discussion around the office. Do you agree or disagree with these picks? What song is on your “do not play” list? Links we love: 
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